Thoughts

Where My Worth Lies

January 15, 2017

I let out a dejected sigh that gloomy Tuesday morning while driving home from work, my lips pursed tightly together and my jaw stiff as my mind jumbled over and over again various challenges from my shift. Man, I thought to myself, I should have worked with my mama more on hand expression instead of giving her donor milk for baby to help them get ready for discharge, I should have started her flush sooner so she could get her epidural more quickly, I should have had more information in front of me before calling the doctor about my laboring patient, I should have, should have, should have….thoughts of negativity and self-doubt swept over me as I once again picked out my shortcomings and thought of all the things I could have done differently.

I am thankful to say that I haven’t had what I would call a big mistake at work which caused negative effects on the patient (Lordwilling I will avoid those!), but there are moments where, especially looking back in hindsight, I thought I could have done a procedure more efficiently, documented more thoroughly, communicated more effectively, or assessed with better clinical judgement.

It’s easy to get swept up in these. It’s easy to flood our minds of our own inefficiency. We are truly our own greatest critics. Mulling over our shortcomings is a ruthless cycle and was getting me nowhere this particular morning. Nowhere good, at least.

And yet, ever so gently, the Lord is teaching me that the gospel transforms even these situations. When He reminds me of a greater perspective, that is, to know Who I’m serving and Whose I am, as I do all to the glory of God, the focus comes off of myself and a greater heavenly perspective replaces my mere earthly one. I remember that I am part of a much larger picture of God’s plan for salvation and that by faithfully doing what He has called me to do, day by day, He is working out His plan in my life. I need only to trust and obey.

Now of course I can and should absolutely learn from my experiences as I seek to grow and expand my professional nursing career, but the negativity so often associated with those thoughts is gone when I remember that my security lies at the foot of the cross. My worth is not in my job, my academic achievements, my age, appearance, relationships, stuff, talents, or anything else, for I am rooted in Christ today and forever. What blessedness and peace is ours for trusting in our Redeemer, Greatest Treasure, and Wellspring of our souls.

Please take a moment to read through the words to this song by Kristin Getty or listen to it here.

My worth is not in what I own

Not in the strength of flesh and bone

But in the costly wounds of love

At the cross

My worth is not in skill or name

In win or lose, in pride or shame

But in the blood of Christ that flowed

At the cross

My soul is satisfied in Him alone.

As summer flowers we fade and die

Fame, youth and beauty hurry by

But life eternal calls to us

At the cross

I will not boast in wealth or might

Or human wisdom’s fleeting light

But I will boast in knowing Christ

At the cross

Two wonders here that I confess

My worth and my unworthiness

My value fixed – my ransom paid

At the cross

I rejoice in my Redeemer

Greatest Treasure,

Wellspring of my soul

I will trust in Him, no other.

Thoughts

Ah, writing!

December 17, 2016

Ah, writing….what a gift it is! It takes you to greater depths of meaningfulness in life. We are forced to think below the surface when taking time to synthesize words into ideas. We must slow down, create, explore, and analyze as it sharpens our senses and gives us a greater understanding of ourselves. 

With writing comes great freedom, responsibility, and imagination. I don’t write enough. But when I do sit down to write, letting the words pour from my heart and fingers, I feel as if a wall were broken down and the jumbledness of my subconsciousness and thoughts is brought to light and understood in a brand new way.

Do write. It’s balm to the soul, even if you’re not a self-proclaimed “writer.” Goodness, I’m not a writer in any grand sense of the word, but let me encourage you to use words to express your thoughts. What do you delight in? Write it down. What baffles you? Write it down. What heightens your senses and makes you keenly aware of the world around you? Write it down…for yourself and for others. You have no idea how by merely sharing what’s on your mind could affect another person for good. Don’t write merely for recognition or acknowledgment from others, but know that it is never a waste of time.

For you, my friend, are a masterpiece of one. You were made uniquely by our Creator with a fresh perspective – a brand new angle that is distinct from all those around you. Only you can view the world exactly as you can….to see, hear, taste, smell, and feel your surroundings as you do. We each have a perception of one. Only you can take those perceptions and use them to capture words into sentences as you choose, creating a work of art – yours alone to share – with those around you.

So there you are! Blank pages are waiting. The canvas is yours to paint! The document is yours to type up! Today is the day. Start with a few sentences of your perception from your day, be it the smallest of details to the overshadowing theme, and let that be your guide.

As I reflect on my life and set new goals for 2017, writing more often is one of them. Let’s embrace the adventure! Will you join me? :)

Thoughts

Now In Flesh Appearing

December 13, 2016

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I might quite possibly have the best job in the world. I get to witness the birth of brand new lives, listen to their tiny hearts, put a first hat on their cone heads, which are often bruised and battered from the tumultuous nature of delivery, wrap them up in soft zippered snuggies and place them in their daddy’s arms for the very first time. Sometimes I get to feed them, change their diapers, and just snuggle them. Ah, sweet baby bliss…

….now before I get all carried away, I promise this ties into what I’m about to write. This Christmas season, when you sing “All Come O Ye Faithful,” remember the part where you sing “now in flesh appearing”? Let’s mull over this for a while. Let me share with you a quote our pastor used in his sermon today by J.I. Packer:      

‘The Word became flesh’ (John 1:14); God became man; the divine Son became a Jew; the Almighty appeared on earth as a helpless human baby, unable to do more than lie and stare and wriggle and make noises, needing to be fed and changed and taught to talk like any other child.

And there was no illusion or deception in this: the babyhood of the Son of God was a reality. The more you think about it, the more staggering it gets. Nothing in fiction is so fantastic as is this truth of the Incarnation.

This reality of this truth hits home in a unique way for me as I have the privilege of witnessing one of the greatest miracles and mysteries on earth: the birth of a brand new fresh life. When I think of Jesus appearing in flesh, born as a baby boy, something in me is thrilled to the core. Nearly every week, I watch as babies fight their way into this world, 50 lbs of pressure squeezing their little bodies as they emerge, small and warm and helpless into this cold, harsh world.

How can it be, that our Savior and Creator, the King of ALL, chose to be born of Mary – not bypassing the helplessness and vulnerability of infancy, fully human, yet still fully God!

If you’ve held a baby in your arms, you know you’re holding a something special. There’s something awe-inspiring about a small human who will one day be big like us. Who will he become? What will she look like? What things are in store for this new life? Taking these little bundles in our arms, we are mystified by how small a person can be, that WE were once as tiny as they are, yet how hard to comprehend as we watch them curl an entire fistful of fingers around one of our own. Reminds me of watching first-time daddies put T-shirts on their new son or daughter. How much cloth there is and what tiny hands and even tinier fingers to navigate through the seemingly endless length of sleeve! Babies are tiny. Fragile. Vulnerable to the difficulties of the world around them.

Friends, this was Jesus, too.

Let me encourage you to take a few moments this Christmas to ponder the mystery that Jesus Himself, the Lord of Lords and King of Kings, came into this world as an infant.

I am struck by the mystery. Overwhelmed by the reality – OUR reality that Jesus came and because of Him, we are made new. Oh praise His name this Christmas season and rejoice!

Come let us adore him, He who is Christ the LORD!